“Sovereign Nation Laws Take a Turn for the Surreal”
Jay Bayless, Junior at Mercer University
In a line on a recently released track, rap artist Waka Flocka Flame bragged that he was “badder den Obama,” a claim having unexpected repercussions for Mr. Flame and the US at large. In a retaliatory press release, the President appeared to have taken the ‘dis’ poorly, both personally and politically. In an uncharacteristically brief presentation Wednesday, he announced that “I be in the Oval Office legislatin’ dreams/Waka Flocka on the street slingin’ green to the fiends,” a couplet he assured reporters he “had wrote himself”. Shortly following this press release, Obama entered into murky legal waters, simultaneously declaring Mr. Flame’s mansion and surrounding neighborhood a sovereign nation, formally recognizing the new nation, and urging Congress to declare war. An anonymous advisor to the President told this reporter that “Mr. Obama takes his cred amongst the younger demographic very seriously and is prepared to defend it up to and beyond the line of reason.” For his part, Mr. Flame appears to have handled the situation masterfully, with the Liberated Rapublic of Flocka swiftly becoming the world’s largest exporter of music videos and high octane marijuana. Although the outcome of the situation remains unstable and uncertain, Mr. Flame’s Secretary of Foreign Affairs has denied rumors of an upcoming diplomatic retreat between the US and LRF stating that “the Liberated Rapublic of Flocka don’t negotiate with bitches”.